.. image is important to me, maybe more than anything else. This is a shxt perception to have on life, I know. I put considerable time into my image, all while knowing it is impossible to control the way people feel about you.. Eventually, you lose track of what matters. Them, or you?
.. but then I feel, what’s the point? There are many things, people, experiences that I have wanted. Ironically, when I get them.. it is never as I envisioned. Some things, I wonder if I’ll ever receive.. I criticize the importance of these things, but can’t help but feel jealous when others (even close friends) acquire them
There are rarely times when I do not feel like disappearing, not death exclusively, but just falling off the map. Living life as an unknown with good people around me who are not influenced by the superficial stuff we (I) worry about. Living life day-by-day, with my people, for my friends